Regret
by Tendertooks
Summary: Hiei, out of pride, does not want to admit his love for Kurama. An accident leaves Kurama in the mouth of danger and on the edge of death. Worse of all, Karasu’s back, with much plans to for our redhead. Will fate lead them to an angsty end? Shounen ai.
1. Accident

Disclaimers apply. Re-edited and soon to be continued. Sorry for the long long long wait. Continuation is in progress. I have my computer back. - But I have no internet....

---

**Part 1 **

_Love… Why was there ever a thing called love? That incomprehensible feeling? That feeling that hurts and yet, you yearn for? I should have never learnt about this… _

All these years I have slaughtered with hate at my side. I used to be impassive, ruthless, and hateful. Bitterness was my manner, always remaining my tone of detestation. My sword has been in battles, has tasted blood over and over again as my life ambles to its end. But now…

_That _kitsune_… That idiot should have never taught me about this! Who is he, to teach me the weaves of love? And now, I know I wield this love deep within the burrows of my heart.. _

_I have love… I can't deny it. Love for my sister (though truthfully, I had always had this), my strong friend Yusuke, Those irritating girls Botan and Keiko, That idiotic ox Kazuma, My two bosses Mukuro and Koenma; Genkai… and to my best friend, Kurama… _

_Kurama… Especially him. I love him, perhaps even more than life itself… He was the only one who ever cared so much for me. The only one who I have countlessly pushed away… The one who comes ceaselessly to my aid…And I can't repay him. I have pride, my ego to keep; I can't let Kurama in on the facts that I've fallen for him. That it was he who broke my walls the most… completely. _

"Hiei?"

"Hn. _Kitsune no baka_. What do you want?"

"Get down first. I look like I'm talking to a tree."

"So?"

"Just get down."

I jumped down the branch I was sitting on, and landed silently on the soft grass. The fresh smell of leaves alerted my senses. I glanced up at Kurama, my eyes meeting his emerald ones. I sighted inwardly, as I look into the perfectly shaped face, the fair skin and the flaming red hair. He glanced at me uneasily, "Hiei, uhm..."

"Hurry up." I snapped bitterly. He nodded, brisk-fully.

"Hiei, I'm going away for a while…"

My eyes widened. I tried my best to hide my immediate fear.

"Going? Where to?"

Kurama replied, quite smoothly, " I'll be studying in New York."

A tense silence followed as I move away from him.

"H-how long?" I asked, my voice betraying my feelings.

I watched him come close to me, but when he lain a hand I shot back. He must not see I am trembling.

"Hiei, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'll be gone for four years."

Something happened to me...My heart jolted. I bit back the pain as my hands rounded into fists. Almost tightly enough that my fingertips drew out blood. I glanced towards the ground, trying to hide it. I felt gentle hands hold my shoulders. I didn't shrug it off, or regard I ever felt it. "Hiei?"

I didn't reply. A wave of fear surged into me, I refused to notice it. But my thoughts ended in a close range to it anyway. What could I do without him? What would a youkai do in a Ningen world alone?

"I'll go to the Makai then..." I said, not meeting those eyes. His hands suddenly retreated from my shoulders, a familiar sign that he was upset with my decision. "Hiei, you have to stay here, watch over the Ningens. " he said, seriously. "You must."

"I take orders from no one."

A glint of pain in his eyes, "Yah, no one except Mukuro."

I grab the hem of his collar, as fast as it was hardly noticeable, piercing my eyes through those glass-green orbs that were scandalized with shock.

"Don't dare pull Mukuro into this." I seethed dangerously. He said nothing in reply, and silence reigned for a few moments between us. A sliver of guilt trickled down my spine and hovered over me as I loosened my grasp on the bunch of clothing I was holding. I seemed angrier than I was, but I don't think I would be apologizing to him.

Kurama pulled away, apparently a bit heated. "Fine then. I'm just telling you I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon." The redhead then turned around and walked away. I didn't do anything… yes I am a fool... I know. Why didn't I move? Do anything? It was because of my stupid ego. I would just shut up and pretend not to care. And so, I watch him walk away.

And leave me.

I didn't know it could be forever.

I was sleeping atop a sturdy branch the very next day when I heard a familiar voice, shouting my name aloud.

"HIEI! Get Down from there!!!"

It rang in my head for a couple of seconds. Yes, vibrating all over my corroding koorime ears. And registered into my brain a couple of minutes after.

Yusuke was royally pissing me off.

A few more yells, even indecent cries. I shut my eyes and tried to fall back to sleep.

then, I heard it.

"Kurama's hurt!"

My eyes shot open, I rolled to one side of the branch and wasting no time in jumping down. A tight gripping feeling clenched my whole soul— and somehow I knew that this was not a prank, that something terrible was afoot. I felt fear.

_He is going to die. _

Those words repeated eerily at the back of my mind. I suddenly regretted everything I had said.

_Kurama, I don't know what I'd do if you die…_


	2. Snatched

Again re-edited. Disclaimers still intact.

---

Part 2 

I restrained myself from shaking the seemingly lifeless form on the bed. Stupid _kitsune_, how could he have gotten hurt? How could a spirit fox get hurt by a measly accident?

Damn that driver, it's all his fault.

I glance at the pale face on the hospital bed. Somewhat calm, a little peaceful maybe… but he must be under terrible pain. Many serious bruises and cuts donned the otherwise marble, flawless skin. There was sweat beading down his forehead and though he looked ethereal, he was as sallow as the moon.

Early around noon, when I came into this dull, white room, the kitsune had been fighting for breath, trying to keep up with the nasty ache that stung throughout his whole body. His eyebrows were knotted then, shivering violently, and I did nothing but stepped back as Yusuke and the doctor tried to calm him down and reassure him.

Another wave of guilt ate a part of my heart away. I did nothing but I was there, and dare I call myself his friend!

My hand reaches his, cold yet smooth, soft like cotton. I clutched on to it, and I wanted to keep holding it till the morning. I wanted to stay standing at his bedside, watching him, waiting. Guard him as he rests peacefully

_Love him. _

My hand slipped away from his, and I turn to leave.

_Why should I leave?_ I pondered, hesitating a step further. _Why can't I just sit beside him, look at him, watch him, worry over him, wait for him?_

_Because I'm a stupid fat oaf,_ I replied, continuing through the door and closing it behind me. I trudged down the corridor gloomily. I reached the end, and opened the small, shabby window. I looked around, making sure no eyes were upon me. A click and a slide, that was all it took for the window to open. I slide out.

I'm leaving him again.

_God, I am such a stupid fool. _

I fled into the darkness. Unknowing of an evil creeping out of it, venturing inside the still-open window.

Early the next morning, I had sprinted my lithe legs over roofs to get to Kurama. Of course he was my first priority, him.

Him.

_Always him. _

A few more steps to travel.

_Him. _

What enchantment does he hold? What curse has he put upon me, that all I can focus on is him?

_Love?_

I shook my head and landed unto the hospital's roof. Kurama always said never to use that route in getting in, my I don't find the Ningen way more comfortable or convenient.

The window was still open. I crept inside, landing soundlessly unto the pale blue carpet. I didn't mind the red stain there, instead curious at why many people in blue surrounded in the area.

Armed men, wearing gold pins on their chests. I think Kurama called them 'police badgers' or something. My eyebrow were knotted even more; there was a yellow plastic tape taped across the frame of the door to Kurama's room.

From confusion, my face turned to anger. It was an instinct for me, whatever mess they've done, if it dealt with Kurama, and if they were ones who hurt him, they would be seeing their spleen fly off to the nearest ocean.

My eyes slid sharply as I spotted another man different from the rest. Sporting a red jacket, a white shirt and jeans, the man I knew was walking his way towards me.

He came close, and next to me; I said nothing. He looked worried; my blood ran cold.

"You were the last person to see him." Yusuke said promptly, "What happened?"

My eyes did not have to feign confusion.

"I left."

"Didn't see anyone who came in here, Hiei?"

I shook of my head. I ached to know what happened, but my dignity held me back. I'll just observe clues and solve out the situation—

"Kurama's gone. Someone took him."

—or wait for someone to tell me. But as the words sank in my anger rose once more. Fist clenched unbearably tight, I strode over to his room. Yusuke held me back, I tried to shrug away the firm hand but it didn't budge. I turned back to him, my red eyes piercing, but his were firm.

"Do NOT make a commotion now, Hiei. It won't do any good for Kurama."

Suddenly I grabbed for the lapel of his white polo shirt, holding him up against the wall. Gladly, no one noticed. Yet.

"Oh yeah?" I spat out, "Then What WILL?"

He remained his cool, even in his predicament. I sometimes am envious of him, but my spite was set aside, a much larger turmoil reigning within me now.

Great, Kurama's hurt, unconscious and abducted. Give him a break! I'd be willing to switch if we could.

As long as I know he doesn't suffer…

Yusuke put a hand on mine, "You could, for once, put me down… That way he'll still have one intelligent teammate."

I glared. He quirked his mouth, but I could see through that façade. He was in a hurry to tell me something. He was troubled for Kurama too. I set him down slowly, still eyeing him like a vulture.

"And for a second." Yusuke said, "You could behave yourself until we can get back to Genkai's place. You can thrash and angst your heart out there for all I care."

He took a step further, and my voice, slightly croaky as the events played, said, "We're going there now?"

Yusuke turned to me, rolled his eyes and said, "Oh no. Right now I have a tea party to attend to and I'd rather not let it get cold than save we move along and hurry up now?"

But I was already gone.


	3. Deal

Disclaimers are still hugging me.

---

Part 3 

My legs were numb as I leaped my way across rooftops as swiftly as I could. No one would notice me, no one would see the small fire demon rushing at a blur, no one would notice me worry and angst and throb in pain as I ran.

Oh how wrong I was.

Someone, amidst the crowd below, smirked slightly as his purple eyes watched the haze of black above the houses dash away towards south. And he quickened his pace to follow.

I jumped down from the nearest tree with not even a thump, and noticed the serenity of this whole place. And I hated it. How could everything be so calm and quiet when Kurama is in mortal danger?! How could nature not care for his being? Where are Inari's minions, or the fox goddess herself? Why aren't they in turmoil for something they might lose forever?

I wanted to make noise. Noise and fire and chaos and anger. I wanted to wreak this shrine, I really did. I even tensed up and lifted a hand to start. But two things came to me and I hesitated.

_It won't do any good for Kurama. _

_Yukina's in there too. _

Sighing inaudibly, I trudged my way to the shrine. My chi was radiating madly, though, I couldn't hide my rage. I could practically feel the dragon within me, twirling and twisting in frustration, roaring it to be let out and put to use. For the fox.

_My fox._

—What am I saying?

I reached out to the door, but it slid open by itself. Kuwabara stood on the other side, and as he saw me he squeaked in surprise and stumbled back. His face is of such hideousness indeed.

"Oi, Hiei! Aren't you suppose to be in the Hospital with Kurama? I heard he—"

I made a grab for his Hawaiian over shirt, and slammed him against the left wall. I mumble, my teeth gritted, "He's gone."

"Huh?"

I hate imbeciles.

"Kurama is gone."

It hit him. He uttered some vile words. I let him go and strode inside without another glance at the muscular pee-brain.

I must get to Genkai.

---

The young, purple eyed man smirked as he spotted the fire demon enter the shrine. He finally found the dwelling. But before he could venture another step forward, he felt a chi. A familiar one. He whirled around.

Of course. Urameshi.

The shady man tensed, and hid himself beneath a shadow as far away as possible, and as quick below a second. He lowered his chi to nothing.

But Yusuke felt him. He gazed around the street cautiously, looking about him. He felt some normal, Ningen chi disappear into nothing… T_hat was impossible, unless a demon…_ He shook his head._ It was probably Hiei. He must have slipped, being so tormented with this whole rack of events. _

In Yusuke's utter urgency to see Genkai, he forgot that Hiei's chi was very different from the one he felt, instead trailing up to the shrine hastily.

"Perfect," the man watching him go muttered, voice velvet and sly. "So sweetly perfect."

---

"Kurama is in grave danger indeed," muttered the old woman, Genkai. She sat with the others on a mat, composed and refined. The room was dim and smelled of incense, and the atmosphere tense and quiet.

"So, lets get some bad guy ass!" yelled Kuwabara, lifting a fist up in the air. I rolled my eyes.

Yukina smiled slightly, "Kazuma-san, I think we should plan this greatly. Kurama's life is in our hands."

Genkai nodded, and Kazuma shifted back in control. He tried his best to act nonchalant, but I could see him itching to fight already. Just like me.

Genkai continued, her hands clasp together in front of her, "Now, who's the last person—"

"Hiei," Interrupted Yusuke. The old woman glimpsed at me, and I nodded once. But before I could say anything, a giant blast made the wall behind me powder into obliteration . I had jumped and somersaulted out of the way to avoid any damage.

My eyes instinctively searched for Yukina, and I was half glad that that ox Kuwabara had protected her. I glanced at the intruder, and I heard wise old Genkai declare, "This is my house, my shrine! Leave this place and us in peace if you do not with to perish!"

A mock laughter. My blood boiled in rage. _Karasu_.

"How delighting to see all of you again, " Said Karasu, scanning the room. As he spotted Yusuke aiming at him with his rei gun, he sighed dramatically, "I'm afraid you can't do that, young detective."

Yusuke squinted, brown eyes never wavering, "Why not? I don't owe you anything."

"Oh something like that," An evil smirk, "Let's say my partner would maim and annihilate your Kurama in one blow. You wouldn't like that, would you?"

I took a deep intake of breath. The way he said that name, _Kurama_, with such lust and haze. Oh how I wanted to just rip his head off with my hands, bathe myself in his blood and be delighted in his non-existence! But Kurama was at stake. My hand gripped the hilt of my katana tighter.

Karasu suddenly turned to face me, saying, "I'm sure Kurama would be a great fuck, wouldn't you, fire demon?"

I tensed and lowered even lower from my kneeling position, so ready to charge but he lifted a finger, "No, no, little one. Not unless you want Kurama back bloody and mutilated… and raped oh so very many times.." Karasu licked his lips, eyes glinting in mirth.

My grip tightened. Karasu laughed harder, "Care to take on a deal?"


	4. Taunting

My disclaimers are a leash to this work...

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Part 4 

"Care to take on a deal?"

How could I refuse?

Yusuke beat me to it. Eyes flashing menacingly, he asked, "What is it, Karasu?"

Karasu, the raven-haired demon broke off a laugh. A mocking laugh, and he sauntered closer.

"Dear, dear detectives," he hissed, glancing at each one of us thoroughly, "Do anything for Kurama, wouldn't you? Mmm, yes… I can see exactly why… That fucking gorgeous—"

"Get on with it, asshole!" Snapped Yusuke, balling his fists and tensing his body. He was as furious as I, now. Karasu lifted an eyebrow, looking at our leader cockily, "Would you want to hear the deal or not?"

I glared at Yusuke. If he dare make Karasu leave without telling the deal, I am going to slice his head off. Yusuke seemed to be forcing himself to keep quiet. I had a thought of what he wanted to shout out, though. I glanced around the room, quickly, fingers never loosening its hold on my katana.

Genkai was looking stern, unmoving, on a half kneeling position, alert and ready. Kuwabara lay next to Yukina, looking disheveled but in rage. Yukina looked terrified, clutching on the sleeve of Kuwabara's shirt. Yusuke was the only one standing, proud and strong, in front of this enemy.

"Go to Hiei," Said Karasu, emotionless. Yusuke's eyes ruffled, and turned to me. I did not change my expression of hatred. Karasu laughed, spotting Yusuke giving me a questioning glance.

"No, dear boy, Mount Hiei… The Ningen mountain. You will find our current dwelling there… Oh, yes, and my partner would not like many visitors, as it makes him feel uncomfortable. Bring more than two comrades, and Kurama will die."

Karasu bowed, not taking his eyes off us, then jumped back, throwing something to the ground. There was a loud explosion heard and a green smoke spurred out, engulfing us quickly. Karasu was out of sight.

---

"How is our little pet, Kaekete?" Purred a shadow, dressed in shining, leather black, walking towards them from the light.

The blonde and attractive teen looked up from a brown chair, green eyes glowing unnaturally, and grinned.

"You've taken long, Karasu. Have you told them? Is it all clear?"

"Like crystal, boy. Now where is our captive?"

"In chains… Bound to the floor…" said the pale blonde casually.

A small moan managed to escape Karasu's lips. Eyes softened in a sudden, lustful miasma. His blonde compadre eyed him cheesily, "Getting hard just hearing that, aren't you?"

Karasu squinted, "Have you done anything to him?"

"What would you do if I have?"

The purple-eyed demon grabbed an empty chair next to him and slammed it to the ground, spitting at the blonde, "You are just –impossible—."

The blonde smirked, as the older youkai, Karasu, disappeared into one of the tunnels in darkness. Chuckling, the teen continued brandishing his large silver blade. "I know…" He mumbled, knowing full well that Karasu wouldn't hear him.

Karasu's cock jumped to life once he saw a glimpse of that redhead. Kurama was, true to Kaekete's word, bound helplessly on the ground, wearing nothing more then his white buttoned shirt and his denim jeans. Hm, yes… easy to rip off. Kurama's green, vivid eyes glared at Karasu in threatening bile, hair spread out like a halo of fire around his beautiful, lady-like face.

The cave was dark and moist and silent. Karasu knew just how private and deserted it was, and he smirked. Taking a step towards Kurama, he resisted the growing urge of just pouncing on the redhead right then and there. Who knew how far he could go, with Kurama under him, writhing, hands tied, making Karasu impossible to push away?

"Kurama…"

"…Why, Karasu?"

That soft whisper sent shivers down Karasu's spine. It was too easy to imagine Kurama whimpering, sighing his name, telling him to stop, to cease pounding his pulsing cock inside his tightness so violently. And Karasu would thrust in even harder, thrust in quicker and vigorously until he was practically fucking the boy out of his senses.

Karasu licked his lips, squatting down to stroke Kurama's beautiful, long, crimson hair. But his captive pulled away, head to the side. Karasu sighed, eyeing him hungrily, like a predator eyeing it's prey. "Why indeed?" He said, smoothly, "Why did YOU, youko, get hurt in that measly Ningen accident?"

Karasu laughed a derisive laugh, not allowing Kurama to reply. "Because of me. I blasted you with chi the moment that truck hit the side of your car. It was I who hurt you, Kurama…"

Like a moth to the flame, Karasu's pale, thin fingers drew forth and inched inside Kurama's unbuttoned shirt. He felt something strange, a jump in his stomach once his fingertips brushed against Kurama's smooth torso, and with a growl, he swooped on, straddling himself atop Kurama.

Kurama's eyes widened, and he struggled, pulling at his chains which bound him spread-eagled on the floor. Karasu bit his lip, trying his best to forbid himself saying on what gyrating on the floor was doing to him.

But, unable to endure that delectable friction that Kurama unknowingly created, Karasu moaned loudly. He bucked roughly at Kurama, his erection bulging painfully in his leather pants, enjoying the electricity that sprinted all over his body. Karasu tore his captive's shirt off with his claw-like hands and ravished the flawless bare chest that lay there.

Karasu could not get enough. Every little inch of his body ached for the touch, scenes flashed by him in a string of random events. He pictured taking Kurama's virginity, against the wall, on a chair, leaning on a table, on the floor, pummeling inside of him so mercilessly. The distant pleas that Kurama whimpered were like music to his ears, accompanied by the ringing of the shackles and chains that bound his prize.

The small sounds echoed throughout the cave. Kurama's near-silence gasps and Karasu's grunts and moans accompanied by their shadows, moving erotically against each other on the dark-grey walls of the cave.

---

The room was reeking with the foul after dose of that smoke. Hazy visions were in front of me, I could hear them clearly.

"Hiei will accompany him, that is final, Kuwabara."

Kuwabara clenched his fist together, glaring at Genkai, "But—"

With a voice of much stern and finality, she asked, "Do you hear me?"

I could see the rough sculpt of Kuwabara's body. He lowered his glare. I heard him mumble a yes under his breath and I felt the glory of triumph. But it was too soon to celebrate. Yusuke had gone to deal with his evening chores, a check on his mom and a change of clothes, much to my impatient fury, and had left me to wait before we could journey into the night, to mount Hiei, where Kurama was being baited.

I still remember what I last said to him. His pained expression. I still remember the anguish in his voice, the quiver, and the reluctant stutter to speak. I wonder how he felt about me now. And I wondered, if it's the last image that will be set in his mind if he dies—

No. Of course he won't… Would he?

I hate insecurity.

Of course he would be alright, he is a youko, for God's sake he cannot perish that easily!

With that strong thought I moved over to the edge of the room, where large rocks protruded on the floor and a big gap was on the wall.

Something entered my mind. I clench my fist. The Ningen accident Kurama had, how do I explain that? It was impossible for him to have forgotten he was a youko. No… Something must be going on…

Then, it clicked.

Of course. Karasu.

What does Karasu intend, anyway? What does he want from Kurama? I felt a stab of jealously as I thought…

The thought of anyone touching my kitsune made me go in another raging frenzy. I growled, and pushed a statue down to the ground. It tumbled heavily, crumbling into pieces at the force I used.

It is lucky no one was in here at this moment. I might have directed it on them. Yukina had gone of to the next room to phone those police Ningens.

I had not noticed Genkai and Kuwabara had left the room, the room that was half filled with debris at the earlier attack. No, I was thinking, deep in thought.

I have to get Kurama back. I cannot live without him.

Then I thought about it. Karasu had an accomplice. I knew he would not share Kurama at any cost, so why does he have a partner? Karasu could have done it himself. No… There was something deeper. He wants something else.

I felt a chi, and turned around sharply, sword suddenly in my hand. I look up to the serious face of Yusuke, and he said, morosely, "Don't be too tense. Ruins your fighting ability—"

"Stop lecturing me." I snarled, losing my temper.

His expression didn't change. But it had those determined look in their eyes. It uplifted me, somehow, knowing that this companion of mine was just as desperate to get Kurama back as I was. We stood in silence for a moment, before I ordered, lowly,

"Let's go."

**---**

Kurama sighed, face pressing against the floor. The cave was cold without his clothes, and it felt even colder when those silky, ice-like hands continued to caress him everywhere. His chest, his thighs, his ass and back. He felt Karasu's frosty body close to his, still feeding on a bit of contact, but now mild and subtle after his rough assault, a while earlier.

Kurama had not cried, much to Karasu's disappointment. He had not whimpered and pleaded, as what he had wanted to do. The pain did drive him mad, and the embarrassment and shame was to its extreme, but he was strong.

All Kurama had done, as Karasu had fulfilled his desire, was to bite his lip and shut his eyes. Forget this was happening. Forget it was this demon, for get this demon had purple eyes.

Think it was red. Think he was a fire-demon.

That thought made him survive. Hiei had made him strong, though the last words he had ever heard him say had left a stain in his heart. _"Don't pull Mukuro into this."_

He knew he was being too jealous, too overprotective, but Hiei said it with much intimacy it made him recoil. Stabbed him.

So he loved Mukuro.

_He would never love me. _

He felt Karasu's tongue tracing his thigh, sensually, slowly, and he shivered. A throaty chuckle was heard, and Karasu sat up, embracing his prize, pinning him to the ground, blood flowing back down to his manhood at it was pressed upon right above Kurama's arse.

"I want another round, youko." The voice was taunting in his ears.

_ Maybe it would be best to surrender to Karasu. I don't think I want to come back to him. He won't care. He loves Mukuro._

Those words the fire-demon said, taunted worse then the feeling of another body atop his.

Taunted.

Taunted.

Taunted...


	5. Defeat

Somehow, the disclaimers are still sticking into my butt...

---

Part 5 

Every branch of those dead, spidery trees were teeming with bats. I stared up straight ahead, knowing the real start of the journey lay afoot. Eerie mists were swarming and feral sounds were heard in this darkness Ningens call night, and I could feel the evil chi so strongly here, as we drew closer to the foot of the mountain.

"I can't see." Yusuke mumbled softly.

_Stupid Ningen eyes _thought I, trudging forward, muttering, "Well I can."

Yusuke's chi charged up, "Would you please stop being so-"

A movement.

We both turned around. Yusuke's eyes wandered around anxiously, I knew he would not be able to perceive anything. I grew impatient, "Use your stupid ears, Urameshi!"

I had said it at the exact moment. Youkais flew down from above the misty clouds and darted straight towards us. Yusuke had heard them, and sent the first youkai smack into the wall with an intense kick to the head.

I had taken my katana then, and had done a great deal of slicing the others down. The rotten smell of carnage wafted into my sensitive nose. I did not cringe. I was too used to them.

Enough time wasted. I wanted to find Kurama.

"Thanks, Hiei." Yusuke said slowly watching me as I started my pace up the mountain. I didn't turn around, but acknowledged him. "Hn."

I heard Yusuke follow. His chi was stronger, more confident now. I gripped the handle of my katana tighter as I ventured into the darkness.

I am coming to save you, Kurama.

---

He shoved the redhead onto the wall. Kurama could feel blood seeping out from the back of his head. He squinted in pain, clawing Karasu on his arms; "You won't get away with this..."

A cackle, "Is that so, my little fox? We'll just see. At this very moment your two precious friends are running here with no fucking clue in their heads. They don't know how strong I've become."

"You don't know how much they've trained, either."

"Oh but I do. I've been watching them under the shadows, waiting, leering, and learning. I've been planning on this for such a long time now."

Green eyes flickered, the fox kept silent.

Karasu's bony fingers traced his cheek. "Afraid, my little fox?" His body leaned closer towards the redhead, pressing him against the wall. Kurama did his best to keep him away, but failed miserably. His head screamed with pain and his naked, wounded body wouldn't obey him. He was caught and vulnerable.

Kurama closed his eyes, "No, Karasu. I am not."

The purple-eyed demon watched his bare captive in fascination. He was so beautiful. So perfect. Good enough to eat. Karasu licked his lips, his crotch was aching, yearning to be inside him again. But that's just got to wait.

"Well you _should_ be afraid, my fox," Grinned the taller, paler youkai. In a flash he took out a knife from his hidden pocket. The blade was polished, and gleaming, and the evil youkai thrust it into Kurama's thigh. Sharp, piercing pain bolted out of that wound, blood gushed out and trailed down his leg. The redhead gasped, opening his eyes wide, hands clenched onto Karasu. He was trembling.

Karasu grinned. "See? You really should be." He twisted the knife roughly.

Kurama's view grew dim and began to fade. He muttered, holding on to his enemy tightly, "Why...?"

Cold eyes stared back at him. A tear trickled down Kurama's cheek, and he collapsed to the ground, head lolling above his shoulder, breathing short and shallow.

Karasu's smirk widened.

So beautiful.

----

My treading stopped abruptly. I took out my katana; the metallic sound of the blade like music to my ears. I had left the youkais' blood to stain my blade. But I didn't care anymore.

I miss Kurama. I want him back.

"The entrance." I said, intensely. My eyes scanned the mouth of a dark, dreary-looking cave. Night was at its peak. The breeze was calm but deadly dry, and I took a deep breath. But before I could take a step forward, I felt something. Someone was here. I stood rooted to where I was. Yusuke held his breath. He felt it too.

"Dun-dun-dun-dun!" Dramatized a cheeky voice from above. Yusuke and I turned around immediately. My eyes trailed up to a large, fruitless tree. There was a shadow sitting on a strong, scabrous branch. He chuckled, amused; and summer-saulted down gracefully. The bats surrounding him flew away in alarm.

"Welcome to my humble abode." He said, bowing.

"Fuck off, we didn't come here for you." Yusuke said lowly.

The mysterious youkai looked genuinely taken aback. "Ouch! You've hurt me." He pressed his palm against his chest. Yusuke rolled his eyes, "You're a good actor. Now fuck off."

Kaekete's expression changed.

"No," He said, his green eyes glimmering, and suddenly, the strange youkai began glowing in shimmering white. His trenchcoat was blemish-less, the color of snow, and I could sense his chi rising. He held his arms on either side of him, in a welcoming position. "I am Kaekete." He said, his voice odd, echoing, whispering.

"I am here to destroy you."

The darkness disappeared as our enemy continued shimmering. I squinted my eyes and took a step forward. But then Yusuke's hand came to my shoulder. "I'll deal with this one. Go get Kurama."

I hesitated, then glanced at him. This Kaekete sounded very strong, but I knew Yusuke was even more powerful. So I nodded, wordlessly, and began running into the mouth of the cave. I could hear Yusuke's 'rei-gun' and I could sense their battling chi. As I ran deeper and deeper I wondered if Yusuke would be fine.

And I wondered if Kurama was still alive.

After an endlessness of trails I found myself inside a large, sphere-ish cavern. Stalactites and stalagmites were aimlessly growing about, and as I slowed my pace my boots splashed upon some puddles of clear, blue water. The splashes made echoing noises, even to the far rock ceiling. I scanned the whole area.

My eyes stopped dead at a seemingly lifeless body strewn at the middle of the cave, shackles and spikes spread around him. My heart stopped dead. It was a redhead in ragged Ningen clothes.

"Kurama?" I whispered, trudging on towards him. My pace grew quicker until I was close enough to drop down to my knees. I took a long glance at him.

He was wounded everywhere. His head, his face, arms, neck. His clothing was soaked in blood, and it seemed as if he had a large wound on his left thigh.

My heart grew heavy. I could not bare the sight of him, the pain he must be going through. I wished terribly it was me who was wounded. I hoped angrily I could accomplish his revenge. He did not deserve to hurt like this. If someone deserved this, it would be me.

I clenched my fists.

'Plick.'

A strange sound. It was my tear, which had hardened and fallen to the ground.

The Koorime tear. The precious gem. I gently picked it up and placed it inside his cold palm. My crimson eyes looked up at his face.

Was he dead?

"Kurama... Wake up... please..." I whispered, my eyes brimming with more tears. I lowered my head. My mind began to swirl. Dark thoughts crept into my head. My heart felt heavy.

I thought about how my life would go on without him. I thought of how melancholy it would seem when I'd continue helping Yusuke without Kurama. I thought how I would travel to the Makai, silent and alone. I imagined what his mother would think of this dreadful news. I thought about how the others would cope without him.

How I would cope without him.

I wondered who I would be without him.

I wondered what I would think, standing in front of his grave.

This wasn't like me, to think about these things, to hurt at such thoughts. But who ever really mastered emotion?

_I thought I had, and I was wrong._

Kurama could make me lose my grip. I knew it now. If Kurama died, I would even consider kill myself.

I suddenly felt so empty. So frosted. So dead. As if all purpose in life just vanished. I choked back a sob. He couldn't be dead. I looked up at his pale face again.

He was so beautiful. I was about to mourn.

Then his wonderful green eyes fluttered open.

I widened my eyes. "Kurama!"

Breath was given back to me. Relief was wonderful. For the first time in my life I wanted to hug someone and keep him there. This emotion was overwhelming. Koorime tears were toppling down to the muddy ground. I hesitated for a moment and wondered what he would think.

But maybe this embrace will serve as my apology, for acting so crudely towards him before. _He needs it,_ I said to myself.

But I knew I needed it even more.

I took a deep breath...

Leaned upon him gently, and put my arms around him...

I hadn't done this before. This was a very special moment for me. It felt so strange to be so close to him. To someone, for that matter. Being able to feel his warmth, to hear his heartbeat. To sense his inhales. It felt so good. Simply walking on air. It was a sensation I never felt before. I was such a subject for this emotion.

Then I heard him laugh. My eyes shot open. I took myself back and watched him. His eyes were gleaming, like never before. It oozed with cruelness and it cut through my heart. It was one of my greatest fears- being mocked for something I was awkward at.

I didn't expect this from him.

"Kurama?" I questioned, trying my best to hide my hurt with my confusion. He was looking at me indifferently; I couldn't understand it. I looked hard into those amazing green eyes. Nothing. As if he didn't see me.

"What's wrong with you?" I said, barely above a whisper.

"What do you mean what's wrong with _me_?" He said menacingly. "I've finally understood myself. The question is, what's wrong with _you_?"

I bit my lip. I know this isn't Kurama. This couldn't be the Kurama I know.

I was stuttering, "I... I thought... I thought you..."

Kurama smirked, "Died? Hah! You are a fool."

That was like a whip to my heart. But I overlooked it. There was something obviously wrong with him. My mind reeled with theories. But neither potion nor a form of magic could affect a strong youko to spout venomous lies.

So were they lies?

No. I won't accept it. These must be lies. He isn't like this. I growled out, got to my feet and glared at the walls. "What have you done to the kitsune, Karasu?!"

My harsh voice echoed inside the cavern dome. But I heard no answer. Nothing crept out from the dark. Not even a single shadow aside from ours. I sighed, and turned back to Kurama. I wished terribly that all this was just a dream. A nightmare.

But this harshness was real. This was no deception. Deep inside, I know this was still Kurama.

His sneer was demonic and angry. He was furious at me. "What has he done to me? Do you want to know? He raped me, you fool! He raped me and it's all your fault!"

I couldn't comprehend it right away. And when I did, it gave a bolt of shock down my body. And then I felt the immediate anger. How could he accuse me of all people, his savior?

"Why is it my fault!?"

"Because you're a sick bastard and you know it. You. hate. me. ADMIT IT!" I opened my mouth to speak, in outrage, but he didn't give me a chance. He began rambling.

" I've realized you hate me. I've always suspected it. But I've never admitted it because I had feelings for you. Well thank God I've been raped and tortured and shamed because now my eyes have been opened!"

I stood silent until he ceased, breathing hastily as if his heart couldn't keep up with his cruel mouth. I looked at him, the words sinking in and the silence crushing us. There was no sign of conflict within him. He wasn't lying. He meant it all. I did not show my pain.

I ignored his accusation.

The truth was, I wanted to fight him. I wanted to defend myself. After all, I would never want to hurt him. I did not give him this pain. I am even trying to save him! How could he think of me this way?

Maybe Karasu really did something to him.

But I knew the youko was much stronger than all forms of deceiving potions.

_Then why?!_

I looked down to my own shoes, grubby and muddy as I have traveled a long way.

"I've come to save you... Kurama."

"You're a bit too late, don't you think?" he snapped, keeping his gaze at me. Pain and guilt and anger were weighing my heart. I swallowed, and formed my hands into fists. Kneeling down before him, I slowed my speech so that I could control my emotions. My frustration.

"I didn't mean to be..." I said to him, "Kurama, this is Karasu's fault! This isn't mine! Why would I do this? What reason could I possibly-"

His hand came swiftly and hit my cheek. A tingling sensation crept up to it. I heard another koorime tear falling to the ground. I faintly hoped he did not hear it. It seemed as if he didn't.

"Don't point fingers!" He growled at me. "Don't deny it any longer. I know why Karasu has done this so I would know whose fault it is."

That was when I noticed the pain in his eyes. The horror, the fear, and the agony he must have been going through.. Oh God. It _is_ my fault.

No wound could compare to the guilt inside my heart, the heat behind my eyes and the swelling in my throat. I took a deep breath, and tried my best to stay calm.

"I... I don't understand... Kurama... Why didn't you fight back..?"

He closed his eyes, eyebrows knotted, as if he was remembering something. He began shaking his head. "I tried... I tried so hard... Hiei." I tried to place a hand on his dirty, wounded cheek, but he pulled away and opened his eyes. The eyes were filled with new-found hate and determination. "But you just had to help him." He told me, tears streaming down his face.

The world around us stop moving for ever the slightest second.

"I didn't help him!" _Of course I didn't!_ "Kurama what do you think of me? A back stabbing horror?"

He laughed. "I think of you as far worse things right now... Do you know how Karasu came to me?"

I shook my head silently. I wondered where he was getting at. The next thing he told me gave me another stab of guilt.

"He told me it was through the window you opened in the hospital."

Silence. I couldn't speak.

I remembered.

I knew.

"Is this correct?" He asked me, as if he himself had been denying it... He had been denying it. I swallowed, and my croaky voice could not speak. The silence screamed yes for itself.

I thought I could explain, that I hadn't meant to be so careless and so fucking clueless, but he continued talking; he didn't want to hear my excuse. I think he felt I didn't deserve it.

"—You know why I was so distracted and got hurt in the accident? Because I remembered what you said that day and it pained me so much... You've always hurt me... I cried because of you and now I am tortured and molested and fucking _dying_ because of you."

I shook my head. No. He knows I did not mean those things I did. I wanted to shut my ears down. These horrible accusations were too much...

"I didn't mean those things. How can you be so irrational?"

"How can I not be?! Look at me! Do you think I'm enjoying this? Well for your information I feel lower than scum, Hiei, because of the koorime that ignored me and yet I stuck with for so long. I waited and waited for him and look what happened! I loathe him to my grave."

Then, no sound.

The steadying silence allowed me to think. I sealed my emotions in, and stood up. I could not think of anything to say. My mind was blank in shock and confusion. And Kurama. Let's get out of here."

I began to reach for him, but he pushed me away. I tried again without minding his resistance. I was trying to hide my pain. My tears. I will not look into his eyes. But I will carry him out of here. I will mend his wounds. I will do anything he asks because I did not want him to hurt. I never did.

He kept slapping my hands away and pounding on my chests and punching my face but I continued. I tried my best to carry him while he squirmed and hit me hard. I felt a bruise forming near my eye, but I didn't mind it. I continued quietly forcing him to calm down and attempting to carry him. I had to focus on something other than my heart.

"Where are you going to take me?! I don't want to go with you, you'll kill me!" He started moving madly, his wounds splitting open because of it. He shouted out in pain but continued trying to get out of my reach.

Then I knew what I had to do.

I put him down onto the floor.

"I'll take you to Yusuke." I said, emotionless. He stopped his stupid thrashing. It suddenly became quiet. I tried to hide the pain in my voice, looking at the floor. "Then I'll disappear from your life forever... if you want me to."

"...You'd do that for me?" He looked up at my eyes, hoping. It hurt my heart to see him so pleased if I was to leave. I looked at him, nodded, hoping against hope my fear and hurt would not show in my eyes. Then he laughed again.

"Well it's not enough." He said, loudly. " I despise you, Hiei. I want you to die. You hear me? Die. I want you to suffer the way you made me."

I couldn't take it. I burst out angrily, "What have I ever done to you?!"

"Everything, as what I have said countless times, you daft, deaf fool!" He shouted back, "You've tormented me with your indifference, you've hurt me with all your rejections, you've scarred me with your ruthless words and actions and I will never heal! You said you were my friend, but in your heart I know you've denied me even that!"

_ This cant be happening._

"Kurama, I do care for you."

_ This isn't real. _

Kurama was so beautiful as he spat these words. "Why haven't you shown me, Hiei!? Why?"

_ I can't live without him._

And I was so cold to him. "I don't know how."

Maybe I should die.

Kurama meant each and every word. I knew that now.

"I was patient with you, I would have understood if you told me. I've waited long enough, now I don't care about you anymore. I hate you and nothing can change that."

And I looked at him sincerely.

"...What do you want me to do then?"

He looked just as serious.

"Die."

It's so strange such a small word could actually end one's world. One's life.

"Alright."


End file.
